her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
