remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
