I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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