Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
