I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
