it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
