singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
