we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize