They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
