this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize