i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
