69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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