Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize