i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
