I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
