THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize