I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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