some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
