Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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