we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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