TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
