I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We had to coat check the pizza.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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