white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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