girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
