So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
