I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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