I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
