I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
