Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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