I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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