how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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