Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
