Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're a waste of cheezeits
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
