So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
