Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
