He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
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