what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
