Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
