"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I believe in your delicious
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
