no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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