Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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