Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
