i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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