yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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