why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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