Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
