Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Randomize
