Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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