we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
