bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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