did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
