If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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