Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
