This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize