SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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