Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize