It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
bring money and cleavage
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
