If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize