Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
