She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
