I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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