I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
