god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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