also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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