she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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