it hurts more in the daytime
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Randomize
