before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
